Professor Maiwald, you study gender equality and speak of a “paradox of equality.” What do you mean by that?
We talk a great deal today about equality between men and women. The traditional view of gender roles within families is actually considered outdated. At the same time, however, we see that many inequalities persist in everyday life. That is one of the great mysteries of gender studies.
One problem is the very concept of “role.” It sounds as if people consciously take on certain roles. In fact, normative ideas have changed significantly. When you ask people directly, almost all of them say that men and women have equal rights. This is true across nearly all social circles.
But in practice, things often look different, don’t they?
Yes. If you look at the daily lives of couples, you don’t necessarily see more equality. This becomes particularly clear after the birth of the first child. That’s when inequality often increases—and it doesn’t completely disappear either. One might expect things to even out at some point as the children get older. That happens to some extent, but not completely. Starting a family still has a traditionalizing effect.
Why is that? In the past, it was often argued that men in relationships were frequently a bit older, had therefore been in the workforce longer, and earned more money as a result. That’s why many women would stay home or work part-time—because it simply made financial sense.
That certainly plays a role to some extent, but less so than in the past. People are starting families much later these days. Both partners are usually already established in their careers by the time they get married and have children. That’s why this doesn’t fully explain the trend.
What’s more interesting is something else: the symbolic return of traditional gender roles.
What do you mean by that?
You can see it at weddings, for example. Many heterosexual couples today have more traditional weddings than their parents did. They often follow American models: there’s the proposal on one knee, the romantic setting, and the bride being walked down the aisle by her father.
This is remarkable because these practices actually date back to a time whose gender roles we’ve officially long since left behind.
Do you have an explanation for this?
Not a definitive one yet. But I believe that the strong promotion of the idea of equality has a paradoxical effect: people are less aware of inequalities in everyday life. The normative view today is: Of course men and women are equal. As a result, people often lack the sensitivity to detect actual inequalities.
Can you give an example?
We conducted interviews with young people. In them, young women certainly described situations of unequal treatment or sexist remarks by teachers. But they themselves didn’t classify these as problematic at all.
One student, for example, told of a teacher who said that the rips in her jeans “really turned him on.” In the past, this would have been immediately classified as inappropriate. Today, it’s often perceived as harmless—because many people no longer believe that such gender stereotypes even exist.
At the same time, new forms of masculinity culture are emerging on the internet: the “manosphere.”
Yes, there is a new macho culture. We can also see this in general appearances, for example in the proliferation of barbershops and the neatly trimmed full beard—but I don’t believe we’re simply returning to the old ways.
I’d rather say: gender is brought up situationally today. In many everyday situations, gender hardly plays a role. But in certain contexts, it’s suddenly emphasized very strongly—for example, when the Weber grill is brought out after a soccer game. The idea that barbecuing is a “masculine” activity is almost absurdly stereotypical and silly. But that’s exactly why it’s interesting.
On the other hand, there’s the phenomenon of “tradwives”…
…which makes you wonder to what extent this is more than just a social media trend. At its core, it’s a performative contradiction: a conservative lifestyle is being promoted while, at the same time, a very contemporary business model is being pursued.
Why do people resort to old role models at all?
My guess is that these symbols provide guidance. Modern life has become complex. Traditional role models have disappeared, yet at the same time, people today have to shape their lives very independently. That’s a gain in freedom—but it’s also exhausting.
That’s why many people are looking for fixed patterns. Getting married, for example, becomes the next logical step because people need structure: that’s just what you do.
You also conduct research on families—do you see similar trends there?
Yes, even in modern families, a lot is negotiated. Children are heavily involved, and parents want to interact with them as equals as much as possible. The only problem is that this doesn’t, of course, eliminate the fundamental asymmetry between parents and children.
In this context, you even speak of an “anti-pedagogical attitude.”
Exactly. Many parents today no longer see themselves as the authority figure in charge of raising their children. Children are regarded, in a sense, as fully-fledged individuals whose wishes should not be questioned if at all possible.
Here’s an example: If a daughter absolutely insists on going to preschool in a princess costume, this is no longer seen as something that requires educational guidance, but rather as an expression of her personality.
What are the consequences of this?
I believe this leads to a lack of friction—and friction is important for development. Interestingly, relationships between parents and teenagers are significantly more harmonious today than they used to be. Conflicts are on the decline. At first glance, that sounds positive. But at the same time, young people sometimes lack the experience of really working through something or taking a stand against expectations.
Do you observe this among college students as well?
I have the impression that students used to be more mature, and now for some, adolescence doesn’t really begin until their master’s program—namely, when they suddenly have to make real decisions and there are no longer any clear structures in place. The transition from high school to a bachelor’s program, on the other hand, seems seamless for many.
How should we interpret these trends? Are we on the verge of a major “backlash,” with all our gains regarding diversity and feminism at stake?
I’m not that pessimistic. I don’t believe we’ll simply revert to old gender roles. The societal changes are too profound for that. But we’re clearly seeing that freedom and autonomy can also be overwhelming. And then people fall back on symbolic patterns—on notions of masculinity, femininity, or romantic rituals—to give their lives direction. I believe this is a central development of our time.
About the Author: Prof. Dr. Kai-Olaf Maiwald has held the Chair of Microsociology and Qualitative Methods at the University of Osnabrück since 2010. Since 2020, he has been co-director of the Center for Gender Studies at the University of Osnabrück. His research focuses on the sociology of gender, couple and family research, microsociology, and qualitative social research.
About the Series: In the interview series “UOS Asks,” experts from the University of Osnabrück talk with the press office about their research and share their perspectives on current and everyday topics. From politics to education, from art to AI—UOS asks.
Further information for the media:
Prof. Dr. Kai-Olaf Maiwald, University of Osnabrück
Institute for Social Sciences
